k6yar.com

Arrange Marriage vs Love Marriage

Writing by Jenny Oates - Editor k6yar.com on Tuesday, 8 of April , 2008 at 8:29 pm

One day or another, many of you will eventually want to settle down, have a home and get married.
Whether you are male or female, the choice you make now, to be together is as complicated as the things that might follow once you join that knot which will stay with you as long as you want, or desire or even till you die. And the consequence of marriage can have a profound affect on your life. Since marriage is such a big issue, many reports suggest that couples are deciding and getting married in later ages like 35 or even 40 instead of the typical year like 25. What could be reason ? One reason we all can agree is that, by that age someone would have earned enough, perhaps learned lessons from other married couples.

In many countries, the tradition of arrange marriage continues while in the same country love marriage is also growing. Whatever the case, many reports have suggested that arrange marriage don’t last long; couples getting married without knowing each other such as compatibility issues, their likes and dislikes and so on. In this post, I am going to write in a way to BAN the arrange marriage for it’s not how a marriage should be done. It should be BANNED by law.

Let’s face it, who the bloody has the right to tell you to do something that will affect your entire life. Sorry for that bloody word, but those who are hinting right now know it - This post is born because of my real experience.

A marriage isn’t made in heaven, a slogan that is somehow uplifted by the “Arrange Marriage” where relatives can even decide your life! What? Well, anyone who knows your family brings a picture of a girl or boy, you look at the picture. May be they will arrange a few minutes of time for the couple to talk and that’s it.

The marriage broker (who isn’t paid though) will describe what the girl looks like, her family background including financial details such as assets. Often they will exaggerate. Such as proclaiming how big a house his or her dad owns, and the lands and farms that they own as far as your eyes can see! Also the broker may tell the girl’s family, the would be groom has handsome salary, has gone abroad, etc all talks emphasizing that the groom is well off financially and socially. Also there are arrange marriages for sons and daughters of politicians who are of the same party, or same cast. If you are laughing by now, please don’t hurt your belly too much. There is more coming below.

Deal is made. Hurray! A date is fixed for engagement. Often poor families borrow money. Marriage is a costly occasion. In Nepal, the place where I was born, Marriage is also about showing off. Giving Lavish parties means that you are up in the SOCIAL ladder. A typical average marriage for cost for a middle class family is around US$ 10000 (Half of the cost for Boys Family, Half For Girl’s Family) That money is wasted like this:

Bride’s Family’s Expenditure:

Pros and Cons of Arrange Marriage:

Pros:

• It’s quicker to get married - You Don’t need to know him or her.
• Trusting the marriage broker comes naturally; he she is your relative or someone familiar to your family such as DAD or he/she might be your Dad’s best friend.
• Less divorce is found in arrange marriage. However, couples could be avoiding it  in spite of unhappy life.

Cons:

• There is no prior s*x (replace * with e there) experience between the couple.
• Marriage broker could be a big lier; talking about the financial status of bride or groom that is not accurate.
• You haven’t known someone so you won’t be knowing what he/she likes, dislikes, interests, hobbies, etc. You won’t know whether you are compatible.
• In country’s where Women’s Human Rights were low,  Laws are in their favor since such revolutions are seen all of a sudden. In some countries, nearly after a decade law changes to crush husbands rather than women in case of divorce. So the laws are making women’s more powerful so they might seek divorce soon to obtain assets.
• Arrange marriage is a traditional marriage, can’t live in this 21st centure - Marriage should be a marriage between a couple based on their own decision.
• When you don’t have time, you can’t learn whether your spouse has loans / debts such as credit cards. If there is a business, you can’t no for sure whether it’s doing well or is running in red.  Upon married,  whole loads of sh*t on your shoulder could come by, you will be running for your life.

Love Marriage
Pros :

• You fall in love, you get to know each other, you can talk about your life, even plan your future. You get to spend time together.  Time, the more you have on your hand the more you can do.
• s*x (there can be safe sexual experience prior to marriage, perhaps something that might important to you.)
• You can learn about the person before you decide to marry such as compatibility issues; Is he vegetarian ? Does He smoke? Does she like to eat out a lot? Does she spend money wisely ? Does she like pets in the house? What is her goal in life? And many other issues you can ask yourself. Marriage is not simple thing, one you are on this board, to get-out; you will need life-saving jackets!!
• Cheaper; Many love marriages kick as** the traditional rules of marriage such as lavish parties, ceremonies. A lot of the marriage is very simple.

Cons:

• You might be isolated from family who doesn’t favor your love marriage. For example, You Dad/Mum could tell you to leave their home. So you can expect your family tie to be broken.
• Sometime, even though it’s a love marriage, you may find you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with this person. This could as a result of failing to find out incompatibility prior marriage.
• You can discuss about expenditures, budget, and even about the kids to have and raise.
• Both the partners can become very possessive of each other and when one finds a little of lack of freedom, marriage-knot could start to unravel.

Before you marry someone, know everything you want to know about that person, otherwise you will be loving this quote or your life could be headed for a disaster; divorce; separation; waste of money.

“Two couples get confused and then they get married”

“People get married then they ask themselves, why did I marry”

Never let those two quotes be true to you. Arrange marriage ? It sucks. and It always will.

Category: Youth and Teens

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